FIONA FEST
Scene Transcripts


OLTL: I Can Find My Own Way Home
(March 31, 1991)

The study at Llanfair

Gabrielle:  (entering) Max… (he turns from the window and walks toward her)  Were you able to get Al and CJ to play together?  I didn’t want to upset him.

Max:  No, he’s fine, you know how kids are. (she looks away)  You know...

Gabrielle:  (bravely) You don’t have to say anything.  I know they have very short memories.

Max:  (sighs)  You know no matter what happens he’ll always think of you as his mother.  And I’ll make sure that he writes you, and we’ll come visit you

Gabrielle:  I don’t want you to come and visit me there.

Max:   (upset) Why? 

Gabrielle: (smiles)  Can we talk about something else, there’s so much to say and so little time.  I know that I disappointed you today.  I raised your hopes then let them crash.  That’s a habit of mine.  I don’t expect you to understand, but…

Max:  You had your reasons I know.  You always do.

Gabrielle: That’s right.

Max:  You always do, don’t you?  I tried to understand you.  God knows I tried to understand you.  But I guess I never will, will I? 

Gabrielle:  We were star-crossed lovers from the beginning.  Remember when we you first saw me riding horseback on my father’s ranch in Argentina?

Max:   (joining in her reminiscing) Yeah… I sure do.  You were very beautiful then.  Almost as beautiful as you are now.

Gabrielle:  Thank you for that.  I wanted you more than anything else in life.  Perhaps that was because my father was so corrupt.  You were my gallant American, my knight in shining armour.

Max:   I just wish you saw me for what I was.

Gabrielle: Yes, if I’d done that I could have saved both of us a lot of heartache. (chuckling ruefully) I’ve made a mess of my life, but at least I can say I did it for love.  It may have not always been pretty or polite, but oh I loved you.  Still do.  I just wanted to spend my life with you 

Max:  Then… why wasn’t it enough?   I mean… we had love… an incredible love.  And we made a beautiful little boy.  And we had family and friends.  We had it all.  And everything else was unimportant… unnecessary 

Gabrielle: (walking toward him)  I didn’t trust it.  I thought it would disappear.  After your accident, when I thought I’d lost you forever, I could never trust life again.  Something changed in me.  It was all too fragile.  It could all be taken away far too easily.  So when I had you back again I wanted to protect us at all costs. 

Max:   Don’t you get it?  All you had to do was just love me, that’s all.

Gabrielle:  No… what I had to do was lock you away in a medieval castle with big thick stone walls with a moat around it.  I had to keep you and Al and myself locked away inside with the drawbridge up so no one and no harm could ever come to us, ever. 

Max:   Sounds like a fairy tale.  But it’s not real life.

Gabrielle:  (tears in her eyes) Yes, I know that now.  But at the time I was completely unaware that locked away in that castle was the very danger that I was trying to avoid, by holding on so tight by breaking all the rules not to let you go, I had already lost you.

Max:   God, it didn’t have to end up this way, you know that.

Gabrielle: But it did.  (smiles)  And I’m not going to apologize for anything I’ve done.  I’m going to hold my head high and face everything and anything that’s coming in my direction.  Let them do their worst to me, as long as I know that you love me.  Do you Max, do you love me still.

Max:  Gabrielle… I ... (reaches his hand to touch her cheek but pulls it back)

Gabrielle:  You don’t need to answer that.  I asked the question, what should I expect was the answer.  And you don’t need to give me a lift, (voice quavering) I *can* find my own way home. 

Max reaches out touches her shoulder and they pull together as she rests her face against his neck and cheek and he kisses her forehead... she pats him on the shoulder and pulls away… she turns toward the door, picks up her red coat and handbag, turns for one last look and exits the room in style. 



 
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