Jenna:  (crossing her arms and looking down)  Oh What a sight.

Buzz: (sitting on the floor, speech slurred)  Is this the ground floor

Jenna: You look like a big, wet, soppy sponge

Buzz:  That’s the sweetest thing anyone said to me tonight... 

Jenna:  (Jenna reaches down for his arm)  All right...

Buzz: (he slides further to the floor) Maybe my whole entire life.

Jenna: (trying to now drag him up)  Ok, all right, come on...

Buzz:  (laying on the floor looking up at Jenna and her skirt...)  Oh... the keys to the kingdom, I was looking for them and you found them. (she tries again to pull him up,
he makes it to her ankles)  First floor... shoes... (now to her knees)  second floor... clothes, panties...

Jenna: Uh huh... all right

Buzz:  (lurches up to her chest)  Third floor.. brassieres... (grabs her shoulders and leans into her neck) fourth floor...perfume...earings...

Jenna: (getting breathless from her exertion, and no doubt his breath)  Uh huh... 

Buzz: (now face to face as he grabs her head)  Fifth floor...heaven...  Where we going?

Jenna: I’m going to take you back to the hotel.

Buzz:  (grunting) Sounds very naughty I can’t wait.

Jenna: (she body slams him upright against the wall)  You’ll be able to wait. (she fixes her rather mussed up outfit and hair)

Buzz: You wouldn’t happen to be a nurse would you?

Jenna:  (grabs his arm) No I would not

Buzz: (she places his arm around her shoulder)  I’ve always enjoyed the company of nurses.

Jenna: No, remember I’m the heiress to be... newspapers, all that...

Buzz: (she drags him into the elevator) I’m crazy about heiresses, they hold the promise of things to come.

Jenna: Uh huh... (he lurches backward) ohhh... (the elevator door closes)
 

Scene II:  At the door of Buzz’s room at the Inn

Jenna:  (panting from the exertion of dragging Buzz) All right, we’re here... (they barrel into his room)

Buzz: Where’s here?

Jenna:  Ooof, home... (tosses him on the bed)

Buzz:  (flat on his back)  Home is where the heart is...

Jenna:  (leaning over him)  All right, here’s your keys, (tries pulling her shawl out from under him) and I’ve done my good deed for the day

Buzz: (wraps his leg around her and pulls her on top of him)  Not quite

Jenna: (he rolls  her over on her back)  Ooof, what do you think you’re... (he leans in and kisses her)
 
 

Scene III:  Jenna pulls herself away and is gulping for air

Buzz: Oh that’s right baby, take a breath, you’re going to need it.

Jenna: (she extracts herself from out under Buzz but not without giggling insanely, and stand ups)  Ooof, that’s easy for you to say (walks away from the bed and puts her shoe back on)  Just don’t light a match. (Jenna is still catching her breath as Buzz squirts breath spray into his mouth and gets of the bed, she lifts her arm and points)  Sit down before you fall down, because I’m not going to make it a habit of kissing drunks.

Buzz: (he crawls off the bed and approaches her)  No just say, ooh ooh, hold me daddy. (as he makes a lunge for her she stomp her heel into his foot)  OH!!!!!  (he bends over hopping up and down)  These were brand new, and you put a dent in them.

Jenna: Uh huh, here’s another dent!  (and she kicks his rear head first into the bed post as he slides down it groaning)
 

Scene IV:  Buzz sitting at the foot of the bed holding a tissue to his nose

Buzz:  (talking through the tissue) My beautiful nose, you broke it.

Jenna: (emerging from the bathroom, we only see her legs)  Put this, apply pressure (presses a cloth to his nose and shoves his head down) and then forward.

Buzz: (groaning)  I thought it was backwards!

Jenna: Uh huh, that should make it stop. (she walks over to the phone in front of Buzz, we still only see her legs, Buzz leans over and grabs the bottom of her skirt trying to look up as she slaps away his hands and makes a phone call)  Room service?  Yes, could you send a great deal of coffee to Room  32 (she slaps away his hand again!).  Thank You.

Buzz: (still speaking to Jenna’s legs through his tissue) Ahhh, I got a drug store bag over there on top of the dresser.  Take The toothpaste out of it and bring it back hereto me

Jenna: Uh hmmm, (walks away as he grabs at her skirt yet again finally to come into a full body shot.  She sees several newspapers on the dresser with her face on the front page.  She takes the bag over to him as he continues to groan and moan)  What is the matter now? 

Buzz:  (Not looking, he passes the cloth to Jenna)  There’s no blood is there?

Jenna: (in very clipped annoyed tones, she drops the cloth into the bag)  No there isn’t.

Buzz: (whining)  I don’t like blood.  I know it has to exist (he rises) I just don’t why I have to see it.

Jenna:  Maybe you should have thought of that before you attacked.

Buzz: (heading toward the bathroom)  It was that demon rum!

Jenna:  You weren’t drinking rum, you were drinking bourbon. (she picks up the newspapers and looks at them angry) And your nose isn’t broken! 

Buzz: (looking into a mirror)  We only get one or two of these in one night, you know?

Jenna:  Uh, hmmm (puts the newspapers down)  So, you’ve been doing some research on me, haven’t you?

Buzz: (crosses the room to Jenna, her back to him)  Just following your illustrious career

Jenna: (hands on hips, seething)  I’m so disappointed in you.  (turns to him)  I thought you were one of those wonderful good samaritans who stops when somebody needs help on the road, and all he wants is an honest couple of laughs and a thank you (he stares at her confused)... well I have paid you back, and now I’m washing my hands of you

Buzz: (she goes to leave)  Wait, wait wait!!!  What did I do besides being drunk and disgusting?

Jenna:  I am sick and tired of people coming to conclusions about me based on assumptions based on something they’ve read or something they’ve heard!

Buzz:  (squeals)  What??  What’s the harm?  We peons think it’s cool when some judge is going to make you, you know, filthy rich tomorrow.

Jenna:  Oh?  So you thought you’d bring me back here, and sweep me off my feet and into your wallet huh?

Buzz:  Well, no... I wasn’t trying to get into your piggy bank, I’m just trying to get into your pants!  But your boyfriend...  he glides in and out... he tells you what you can do, what you can’t do.. he manages you within an inch of your life.  You ought to ask yourself what he’s after, huh huh? (he walks away as Jenna shakes her head)
 

Scene V:  The table is set with a coffee pot and several small cups.

Buzz: (sits down at the table)  Ah, we’re expecting company (he picks up one small cup)... the seven dwarfs...

Jenna:  (snarkily, and she prepares her attire to leave) Yes, I guess I should have specified to Room Service that all this coffee was for one drunk

Buzz:  Oh, you’re not going to hold a grudge are you?  I mean smashing my face against the bed post sobers me up every time.

Jenna:  (scolding) And then you add insult to injury by being extremely rude about Roger.

Buzz:  All is said, was that when you’re with me you seem to be in charge,  when you’re with him, he does

Jenna: (angry)  No one is in charge of me.

Buzz:  Look, he’s so suave, so his car, I’m sure he’s a very good catch, with those craggy good looks, like a composite between Prince Charles and Lurch...

Jenna:  Ohhh!!!  I should have left you right by that elevator!  (makes a move to the door)

Buzz: Oh wait! (stands up and blocks her way) No...please (grabs her arms).

Jenna:  Let go before I bloody something else on you!

Buzz: (he quickly releases her)  Before you go, could you steal something for me please...

Jenna: (incredulous)  What?!!!

Buzz:  No... pretty please.  I always wondered how a professional does it

Jenna: You actually believe what is in those newspapers about me?

Buzz:  Uhhh (smiles at her and turns his back) Come on, just pick my pocket, I’ve never had it done right before, it’s always been some oaf...  I’d do it for you

Jenna: (hands on her hips) You’ve got to be kidding...  so if I were a criminal mastermind do you think I would stoop to picking your pocket?

Buzz:  (teasing)  You don’t know how!

Jenna:  (completely exasperated)  Uhhhhh....

Buzz:  Well, would you look at me, showing off for a grand larcenist.  Come on make like you’re walking...

Jenna:  What?

Buzz:  Come on make like you’re walking (he motions her over to him).

Jenna:  (she comes over, stand still, crosses her arms) I’m walking

Buzz:  No, you’re standing still, move your feet. (he stomps up and down in place, she follows suit) Ok... (he bends over, picks up a scarf and reaches behind her)  Excuse me Miss is this yours? 

Jenna: (in a sing song voice)  Oh my, let me see (leans over and takes scarf), it’s an awfully nice looking scarf but I don’t think it’s mine (he’s still groping behind her, she shouts) My God you are lame! (she pulls away from him)

Buzz:  What??  Where’s the latch to that thing, I can’t unlock it.  (Jenna laughs)  What???

Jenna:  (laughs chidingly)  It doesn’t work that way.  It doesn’t work when I guy does it, only when a girl does it.

Buzz:  Why?

Jenna:  (mockingly)  Because men think women secretively always want to grope them, that that’s normal... when a man does it, you look like a pervert.

Buzz:  Ughh (places his hand on his forehead in self disgust)  I’m so small time it’s pathetic.

Jenna:  Hmmm, the conversation wasn’t much better. (snaps into action, all business)  All right, she see you... turn around, you’re waiting for the bus

Buzz:  Look, it’s OK if I feel it a little bit... (she slaps his rear)  Oooh, do that again....

Jenna:  Oh my lenses, I’ve dropped my lenses...oh dear (she bends over)

Buzz:  (he beds over)  Oh let me help you Miss (she reaches over and gets his wallet, he stand up).... oh excuse me, excuse me, is it safe to cross...

Jenna:  Well little boy, why don’t you hold onto my hand an I’ll help you get across... (he reaches into her purse and takes her wallet...she smiles appreciatively) Dated very dated, but very good.

Buzz: (smiles back)  Ohhh mama, this could be the start of something great.
 

Scene VI:  There’s sitting at the table and Buzz is moving around the up ended cups playing the shell game.

Buzz: You see, I normally don’t drink like that.  Last night obviously I did but I’m not oriented that way.

Jenna: No, you’re just hormonally oriented.

Buzz:  No, I had a kind of internal... car wreck.

Jenna: (chuckling) Yeah, that’s what it looked like. (lifts a cup but there’s no sugar cube under it)

Buzz:  (he starts moving the cups around again)  I’ve been gone a long time.  Walked around... you know that Towers... how can you take that seriously?  Who’s it kidding, I mean look at that place... it’s like you wake up and you find somebody else's clothes in your closet, that doesn’t happen.  You get up, you put on your shoes and your socks, and they’re the same and you’re the same. (he stops moving the cups,  Jenna picks up a cup, again no sugar cube, he starts again).  Then you walk around and you walk around long enough you run into something preposterous like that, and what it tells you, it’s not just that spot, it’s the whole world and everything in it, including you, has gone through some change about 60 stories high or it’s equivalent in plasma and wisdom teeth.

Jenna: (again no sugar cube, and says perceptively and matter of factly)  So... you and socks and shoes left somebody behind and you ran into her last night, close? 

Buzz:  (he looks stunned, direct hit)  What’s that?  Eight trillion dollars you owe me?

Jenna: Peanuts.

Buzz:  (leans in)  Look, it’s that you’re not watching me carefully, it’s all in the eye of the beholder...

Jenna:  (She lifts his hand)  Or the eye of the palm (takes out palmed sugar cube)

Buzz:  (grins sheepishly)  I don’t know, makes the game more like life, don’t you think? 

Jenna: (she smiles and puts the cube on the table)  Want to try this again?

Buzz: (moves cups around) So essentially, we’re both newcomers here.

Jenna: I’m a newcomer everywhere I go, no place ever really feels like home. I’m that object that always looks like it’s just been added to the room.

Buzz:  You do have that about to take flight sense about you.. that you could evaporate at will...

Jenna: (softly)  The Invisible daughter...

Buzz: (jerks his head up guiltily)  Whose?

Jenna:  (intently)  The invisible father had an invisible daughter and when you reached out to touch her your hand went right though her... (Buzz looks on stunned, she lifts the cup, finds the cube)... Gotcha... (she pops it into her mouth as Buzz stares on.)

Scene VII: Still seated at table

Buzz: So what’s the first thing you’re going to do with the billion dollars.

Jenna:  I’m going to stop living in hotel rooms.

Buzz: (laughs)  What’s the second thing you’re going to do?

Jenna: (gets up from table and laughs)  I’m definitely going to stop cavorting with people living in hotel rooms (Buzz groans and shakes his head, she looks on abashed)  Sorry, I didn’t mean it to come out so snooty.

Buzz:  Well life’s bound it change...

Jenna:  Yeah... (shoulders her purse)

Buzz:  Ummm...  (he gets up, reaches out his hand)  Thank you... (she takes it) for saving my nonexistent reputation.

Jenna:  (smiling) Just don’t get caught.

Buzz:  Doing what?

Jenna: Whatever...  whatever...

Buzz: (seriously as he stares into her eyes)  Maybe it’s too late...

Jenna: Uhhh, it wouldn’t work

Buzz: I don’t make the dollars... sweet bird of something (he leans in, she slowly shakes her head and put her fingers to her lips)... no, no chastely... I promise (he leans in gently and kisses her on the cheek) Good-bye... 

Jenna:  Good-bye.. (she walks to the door, he opens it wordlessly, she smiles at him and leaves.  He sighs, picks up a sugar cube and pops it in his mouth smiling ruefully...)