It’s an exquisite fall afternoon, and rays of  razor-sharp sun-light are slanting into a restaurant caught in that lull just after die lunchtime rush.  Fiona Hutchison, Guiding Ligbt's droll, delightful Jenna Bradshaw, orders scarcely anything to eat.  'I tend to talk a lot, in these situations, so not a lot of food gets eaten," the porcelain-pretty actress grins.  "I can go on and on.      'Good grief," exclaims Hutchison, "no one's going to want to read any more of this," meaning further references to the triple-whammy traumas of the last few years of her life: a controversial exit from One Life to Live, an extremely difficult divorce just now in its closing chapters; and the sudden "death of her mother in December 1991.  These things have been dealt with in depth recently in a spate of articles that have also trumpeted her current happy work situation as Jenna, Roger's crafty, gem-liking flame., And, naturally, everyone has written about Hutchison's apparently solid romance with actor/ screenwriter/ longtime friend John Viscardi (ex-Father Tony Vallone, OLTL).  It makes for quite a saga: bad times over, good times beginning, woman with a life more amazing than that of most soap characters rises, phoenix-like, from the ashes.  The end.      Not quite.  Roughly 24 hours earlier, Hutchison’s best and oldest friend died of AIDS.  Maybe it’s rude but the question just shoots out.  Why didn’t you cancel today?

     'No, David wouldn't have wanted me to.  He really wouldn't.' She smiles, mostly with her eyes, as if seeing David inside her head. “Many times recently I had photo shoots, when he was not well.  And I'd say to him 'Right, OK, I'm coming over and we're doing the day.' And he'd say 'Yeah - if you postpone it, they won't be able to do it the next time, then you won't be able to do it the next time.  And besides, I really want to see those pictures!' So I tried to keep things on track.  Obviously, if the services for David had been today ... but they've been set for a couple of days from now.' A short silence.  "Life goes on., That last sentence is spoken with a childlike wonder.  'It does.  Life goes on."

     Some lives go strictly on the fast track, and Hutchison's has always been one of them.  Even to answer a peripheral question about the origins of her unorthodox British accent, Hutchison has to give a complex outline of her pre-acting years.

     It goes something like this: "Upper-class English doctor father and visual artist mother move to Jamaica, sent there by Dad's bosses in the British government when only daughter Fiona is 5. That same year, Fiona begins serious ballet studies.  Dance becomes both her emotional release and her emotional hideout.  The grown-up Fiona makes it crystal clear she adored both parents and was adored in return, but that their household could get, well, intense sometimes.

     'My father was very forthcoming.  He always said exactly what he felt.  He was also always the life of the party. My parents smoked cigarettes and drank and partied.  I was very much a teetotaler - very clean and pristine and wanting to do everything 'the right way.' I think I was probably a royal pain in the ass,” Hutchison lets loose a hearty laugh at her own expense.

     'But when you have alcohol strongly in your family,,,” the details remain unspoken, as do Hutchison’s deeper feelings about this part of the story and what it might intimate.  "The partying was all part of a social scene, you see.  But along with riotous parties sometimes come riotous rows.  And you can get affected by that in whatever way.  I think my way was I just didn't want that side of things.  I wanted the quietness of ballet, its solitude, its concentration.  Because when I dance, I think of nothing else.  These days, I'll go to class  and actually disappear for an hour and a half; and think of absolutely nothing but the steps that are put in front of me.”

     If her parents accidentally taught her about drinking and partying, they were quite deliberate about conveying other messages.  Hutchison vividly and affectionately an incident from her first semester at school in South Carolina, where the family relocated when she was 10.  She walked into the house one day and said something m her best American accent, using newfound stateside slang. “Mum said, 'Go outside, come back inside, and start all over again.’ I didn’t know what she meant - I obviously wanted to fit in with the other children.  I got a lot of teasing at school about the way I sounded and about my name - you know how kids are at that age.  Well my parents simply would not have anything but proper British English in the house.  They were hoping to teach me that people will speak differently anywhere you are, but that doesn't mean you have to change what you are.  This was a very important lesson, with broader implications.

     Ask Hutchison where the consistency came from in this whirlwind childhood (the family traveled frequently, and Hutchison also attended school briefly in Italy,  England and South Africa) and she answers without a second's hesitation: “dancing.”  That  could explain why her parents sped her through High School, so her thriving professional ballet career could continue.  She was only 15 when she made New York home.

     The interview is running long, but the actress seems in no hurry to stop the conversation, which is comfortable and energetic.  Given David's death the day before,  It's natural to wonder why the grief she speaks of hardly shows.  A close fiend confirms that Hutchison keeps emotions quite private most of the time: "It takes her quite a while to show the 'feelings' part of herself to others.  And only a small number of people get to see it.  She's honestly warm and caring with people in general, but the protection inside is strong.  And big parts of her are naturally practical and logical, so that protects her too.  And she's shy.  Fiona's more complicated than most people I know.”

     Nothing protected 18-year-old Hutchison when her father died.  The former teetotaler "tried everything under the sun.  After he died, I went right off the rails,” she remembers.  Six months after that death came the dancing accident that resulted in a spinal fracture and temporary paralysis.  “I’d fallen many many times as a dancer,” she says.  “but that time. my body was a fragile vessel.  I’d been dancing three times as much as usual like a bat out of hell - so I wouldn't have to think." After the fracture, she  worked on all those repressed thoughts with a psychiatrist.

     She worked with physical therapists, too - as hard as she'd ever labored in ballet.  That career was over forever; slowly acting became the new choice.  "I was once told by a teacher that I was an acting performer, that I needed to tell a story, that I danced with my face.' I think that statement was an underlying guiding force," she says.  After some commercials, a few obscure feature films and a couple of quick stints on other soaps, Hutchison was cast as OLTL's tearful abrasive Gabrielle Medina in January 1987

     Although Hutchison will answer nearly any question about the OLTL troubles or her mother’s death, she's legally bound to keep a lid on comments about her marriage and impending divorce.  "It's such a shame, 'cause I'd love to spread it all over the world," she says.  A gleeful chuckle, then Hutchison's graceful fingers tighten into small fists. Just as quickly, the anger vanishes.  "I'm not exempt from the problems that came to bear between my husband and myself," she says emphatically.  "Truly, when I finally can talk about it, it'll be to say to others, 'If you find yourself in situations where there are things like substance problems or emotional abuse, there are ways to cope with it, change it, get out of it.  I got myself into it, and then I found my way out."

     She feels deep regret that her mother wasn't alive to see things get better.  "Mum" worried about her daughter's work situation and marital turmoil through her final days.  But David lived to see the turnaround.  "Oh, yes!", Hutchison's laughter sounds like it's filling her whole body.  "David, was having a blast watching Guiding Light.  He loved it." He knew she loved it too, both her dry-witted new character and the fresh alliances with co-workers.

     Briefly, she is silent.  "You know how people say bad things come in threes?  I thought this group of threes was over when Mum died last December, I was counting, uh, the unpleasant departure from ABC.  But I've revised it.  Now this 'three' consists of divorce, my mother’s death and the loss of my oldest and dearest friend."  Her gaze is intense; this is a point she very much needs to make.  "We are now leaving out a less important 'disaster' in my life, which I'm very pleased about.  I didn't want anything to happen to my beloved friend, but David is showing me exactly where the priorities are.  There is no confusion.  The human beings I love, and their importance and well-being, outweigh any job”.

     'So I thank David," she says.  "I wish he hadn't gone to such extremes to show this to me, though,." Again, Hutchison’s grinning, apparently at the image of him she's carrying inside.  "You could have just told me, David, I would have believed you!" Another chortle.  'And as a matter of fact, he did tell me.  But I suppose he didn't think I was listening.  So, see, this is making for a much happier time.  I don't know how to explain it, I really don't.  I miss him so much.  I'm aching for David.  But on top of it, I'm able to see that this is a wonderfully sunny day outside.  And I have plans I haven't been able to get excited about. But today and yesterday I’ve thought, 'Right, OK then.  It's time to get on with projects and plans.  That's what David would want.  That's what Mum would want.'

     "Strangely enough, I'm focusing better in the last day than I have in a long time, since the whole sadness of all of it has been around," she sans.  "And I'm thinking 'John's not gone yet.  Others I love are not gone yet.  I'd better concentrate on the ones who are here."' *