I have always felt that soap operas and Victorian novels have much in  common. Both depend upon coincident, mistaken identity, chance encounters, lost relatives and such to drive many of their plots. Dickens was a master at this.  Many of his plots turned on characters meeting on London streets, quite by chance, after many years of not seeing each other.  There are also the intricate relationships between characters that aren't revealed until the end of the story is near.  So you could say there is nothing new under the sun when it comes to Victorian novelists or network soap writers.  Both work or worked under time constraints.  Deadlines loom and paper has to be filled with words and plots.   Both the novelist and the soap script writer are only a few weeks ahead in their story before the next episode is needed. From this it also follows that mistakes are made due to the haste in the writing and the time constraints endemic to both forms. 

One of the biggest blunders ever perpetrated on a soap was, of course, the killing of Jenna Bradshaw.  A popular and beloved character was  eliminated with no thought of the effect it would have on her fans and admirers.  I still haven't gotten over it. 

In an effort to make the best of a bad lot, I have tried, in what follows, to make amends and change somewhat the course of the Jenna Bradshaw saga.  In the 
story to come, I begin with the sad and irrevocable fact that Jenna is dead; killed while protecting her husband, Buzz Cooper, and  their two sons from the evil Jeffrey Morgan.  Jenna sacrificed her life to protect her family.  She is gone forever, an heroic death, but dead she is.  Her memory lives on------and perhaps-----but I should stop here because the "perhaps" is what our story, Absence and Despair is all about.

Jack.

August 30, 1999
 

The morning was cold and dark; not unusual in Springfield in December,  but this day in December was especially cold and dark to Buzz Cooper, for it was the anniversary of the death of the woman he loved most in the world.  A year had past since Jenna had died in an auto accident that was meant to save Buzz and her two boys from harm.  She took Jeffrey Morgan with her.  But the price she paid was almost too much for Buzz to bear.  He could not get over her death.

His family had tried to console him but he was inconsolable.  Harley had tried to reason with him and force him back into society, but it was no use.  He could not get over the grief and sense of loss.  Every time he looked at the boys, he thought of Jenna. When he heard the Gershwin tune, "Our Love Is Here To Stay", he would break into tears as he remembered the evening he and Jenna danced in the diner to that melody on his birthday.  So much reminded him of Jenna and he could not get her out of his mind.

Selena had tried.  She had coaxed him.  She had hovered over him.  She had worked to get his mind off Jenna, but it was no use.  Jenna was the love of  his life and no help or aid from his family and friends was ever going to change the way he felt. If it wasn't for Coop and Rocky, he would give it all up, but he knew Jenna would never forgive him, wherever she was, if he didn't take care of her two precious boys.  So he went on living, or half-living, since life gave him no pleasure, and the bitter sweet memories of Jenna and their former life together were all that sustained him.

"Daddy," a small voice said. Buzz looked down and a little face was gazing up at him.

 "Yes Coop. What is it?" 

"Are we going to the cemetery and see mommy like you said?"

Buzz ruffled the boys hair. "Yes Coop we're going.  Just let me get Rocky ready and we'll head on out. You get the flowers from the kitchen so we can put them on her resting place."

Coop scurried off to the kitchen as the front door of the apartment opened and Selena entered.

"Hi Buzz. I thought you might want some company this morning to help you with 
the kids."

"Oh hello Selena. Yeah I could use some help.   I was never too good organizing 
visits. Especially to the cemetery."

"OK then. You sit down and I'll get the flowers and the boys together and the four of us will pay Jenna her homage."

Buzz sat down and buried his head in his hands.  Selena seeing this sat down beside him and caressed him. "Buzz you've got to stop this!  It's been a year since Jenna died.  She's gone.  I know how much you two loved each other but it really is time to move on.  She wouldn't approve of the way you're acting.  It's not good for you or the boys.  You've got to stop feeling so sorry for yourself."

Buzz laid his head on Selena's shoulders and said, "I know.  I can't help it.  I try.  God knows how much I try.  But I can't get her out of my mind. I miss her so much. I miss her looks, her voice, her mannerisms.  I miss everything about her. I don't know how much longer I can go on this way."

Selena ran her hand through his hair as she tried to lighten the mood.  "OK Buzz, my boy.  We'll go to the cemetery and pay our respects.  Then we're going to the best restaurant in town and we're all, you, me, Coop and Rocky, going to order our favorite meals and eat until we can't eat any more.  How does that sound?"

Buzz looked at Selena and gave her a small smile. "Thanks Selena.  I really 
appreciate what you're doing and what you have done for me and the boys.  Words can't express my gratitude and I know I'm a pain, but I'll try to do better.  Honest."

Selena kissed him. "Buzz, we can't expect anything better than that.  We'll get through this.  Somehow we'll get through it.  Today will be a new beginning.  We'll make it one.  It's been a year.  It's time to start anew.  The four of us will give it a go. OK?"

Buzz held her hand. "OK. I'll do my best."

A few moments later they were all in the car headed for the Springfield

Cemetery.  The sky got darker as they drove and there was a hint of snow in the air.  They soon arrived at the old iron gates that stood at the entrance to the graveyard and drove quickly to the gravesite. A small gravestone marked the spot. The inscription was simple. "Jenna Bradshaw Cooper.  Loving Wife.  Loving Mother.  We Will Always Miss You."

The four of them gathered around the grave.  Even little Rocky who barely could remember his mother was somber.  Coop began to sob.  Buzz wiped tears away from his eyes and Selena held a handkerchief to her face.  No one noticed the stretch limo that slowly pulled up opposite to where they were standing.  It had tinted windows so that it was impossible to see inside.  Rocky looked up, saw the limo sitting there and seemed to be fascinated by it.  He noticed the rear door opening and saw a well dressed woman exit the car.  His face burst into a wide smile of joy.

"Mommy!!!", he cried and ran towards the woman.

Buzz, Coop and Selena turned to where Rocky was running and time stood still.

Buzz could not believe his eyes.  Selena let out a gasp.  Coop raced after his brother.

"Mommy, mommy," he cried.

The woman smiled. 

It was Jenna.

Buzz could not move.  He was having difficulty breathing.  There she was, big as life, smiling and bending down to hug the kids.  Selena was white as a sheet.  She looked at Buzz. 

"Buzz, this can't be happening. That's, that's Jenna standing there."

Buzz tried to answer but nothing would come out.  He could hear Jenna talking  to the boys. It was her face, her hair, her English accent. 

"Now calm down," she was saying to Coop and Rocky.  "You must let me  speak. 
Please boys, shush and listen to me."  Miraculously they quieted down.  "Good," 
she said.  "You are both good boys.  Now listen to me.  I wish I was your mother. You don't know how much I wish that.  But I am not.  I am your aunt.  I take it I look exactly like your mother or you wouldn't be jumping all over me like this, which, by the way, is delightful."  She laughed as she said this and Buzz almost fainted.  She talks to them like little adults, he thought.  She laughed again and it was Jenna's laugh.  The woman looked over to where Buzz and Selena were standing.  "You two over there, please come and help me out."

Buzz finally moved. "Jenna?" he asked tentatively.  The woman smiled sadly as she saw Buzz's face. "No. Unfortunately I'm not Jenna, although I assume from  what's been going on that I do look like her."  Look like her, Buzz thought.  It is her. 

She held out her hand. "My name," she said, "is Jenette Cosgrove. 
 

Buzz  reached out clumsily and grasped it.  "Buzz Cooper. Er, that's me." 

Jenette Cosgrove smiled and Buzz almost fainted again.  Both Selena and Jenette steadied him.  After they were sure Buzz was all right, Jenette looked at Selena and asked, "And you are?" 
 

Selena stammered, "Selena, Selena Davis.  I work for Buzz." 

Once again Jenette flashed her Jenna like smile and said, "Happy to meet you. Both of you." She paused and then went on. "If my information is correct Mr. Cooper, you were Jenna's husband."  Buzz's eyes widened and he sucked in his breath.  The way she said Mr. Cooper made him shiver.  It sounded like an echo of Jenna when she would playfully call him that.

Selena answered for the tongue tied Buzz. "That's correct Ms. Cosgrove.  Buzz 
was Jenna's husband.  And if we understand you correctly, I would have to say
you are Jenna's sister.  Her twin sister.  You are the spitting image----- I mean everything is the same.  The hair.  The face.  The voice.  I can't believe you're not Jenna." 
 

Jenette nodded. "Thank you. But I'm afraid I not the real article but just a copy, so to speak.  And you are correct I am her twin, as you have guessed."

The two boys, were listening intently and were hugging her legs and had looks of joy and confusion on their faces.  Jenette placed  her hands on their heads and said to Buzz, "I think these young ones need to be taken somewhere before I explain what this is all about.  I believe they are confused enough with what's happened already." She looked down at them.

"Aren't you boys?"  Again looking at Buzz she said, "More information all at once would almost certainly confuse them even more."  Buzz shook his head as if in a trance. 

Selena looked at Jenette and said, "Why don't I take the kids in Buzz's car while you and he go in your limo.  That should give you plenty of time to explain." 

Jenette nodded. "That sounds like a wonderful idea.  We'll meet at the Regency 
Hotel.  I have the penthouse suite.  I'll have Charles," she nodded to her driver, "call ahead on the cell phone and make sure there's food and refreshments waiting." Selena reached for the boys.  "OK then.  We'll see you there."

Rocky and Coop did not want to leave Jenette's side.  She leaned down and gave 
each of them a warm kiss on the cheek. "Boys go with Selena.  Your father and 
I will be along in a minute.  And for being so good there will be plenty of ice cream waiting for you when you get to the hotel."  The boys reluctantly went off with Selena, looking back with expressions of joy and confusion as if things just were not as they should be. 

Jenette waved at them and then turned to look at Buzz. "You won't mind," she said, "if I take a minute to visit my sister's grave.  You know I never knew her in life.  In fact until about six months ago I never realized I had a sister, let alone an identical 
twin." 

Buzz shook his head again. "Jenna never told me about having a sister." 

Jenette sighed.  "I dare say she never knew."  With that she slowly walked up to the gravesite and bowed her head.  Buzz could see she was crying as she mumbled something.  She then leaned down and kissed the head stone.  As she made her way back to the limo, Buzz could see she was visibly upset. 

Once they were settled in the limo and it moved slowly ahead, Buzz looked over at the woman sitting next to him.  The resemblance was uncanny.  It  wasn't  just that she looked like Jenna.  She acted like her, she spoke like her, she laughed like her, she even used her hands the way Jenna did.  Suddenly a thought flashed through Buzz's head.  He couldn't help thinking how she would look in that red, short leather coat Jenna had been wearing when Buzz had first laid eyes on her.  Exactly the same; no doubt.

Jenette spoke first.  "I'm sure this has been quite a shock to you Mr. Cooper." 

Buzz stared at her. "Jenna," he said in all seriousness, "you've been reincarnated." 

Jenette Cosgrove placed her hand on Buzz's shoulder.  "As I said to your two beautiful darling boys, I wish I was the Jenna that you all seem to love to distraction, but unfortunately I'm not.  I'm just a twin sister that she never knew she had.  Life plays such strange and unusual tricks on us sometimes.  When I found that I did indeed have a sister I was so elated I was beside myself.  And then, sometime later, I found out that she was dead." Jenette paused.  "It isn't fair.Life just isn't fair.  I
never had the chance to know the only blood relative I have in the whole world."
Her  voice was quivering.  Buzz placed his hand on hers and his whole body shook with emotion. 

The hand under his felt exactly like Jenna's.