Word count: 576 | Completed: Yes | Style: Talking printer style

“Oh no!” cried the Lexmark X 5150, scanning through the most recent printing request with horror.
“30 pages!? With my half-empty ink cartridge? You must be insane!”
Ziggy the computer thought for a moment, poking Erin absently with his mouse.
“Ow.” Said Erin, swatting his mouse away. As Ziggy thought, the printer got itself into a more and more agitated state, until it finally swore in Swahili and despondently turned itself off. Erin would have been worried, but was too busy staring at a particularly clear picture of the seventh Doctor Who’s umbrella, and was oblivious to all goings on. And as so usually happens, Ziggy was left to think of a solution to her problem, for this very 30 page journal document was due the next day for English.

Canceling the websites Erin currently had open (Leonard Nimoy’s photography, Mighty Boosh backstage photos, Doctor Who Image Archive and her very own Teague Rook Should Be A Peanut site), Ziggy swiftly contacted the computers in the Hawker College library. The following dialogue was thus:

01011010 01101001 01100111 01100111 01111001 00100000 10010110 00100000 01001000 01101001 00101100 00100000 01101001 01110100 10010010 01110011 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01100111 01100001 01101001 01101110 00101110 00001101 00001010 01001000 01100001 01110111 01101011 01100101 01110010 00100000 01000011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01110101 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 00110000 00110000 00110111 00100000 10010110 00100000 01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00111111 00100000 01000110 01101001 01110011 01101000 00111111 00001101 00001010 01011010 01101001 01100111 01100111 01111001 00100000 10010110 00100000 01001110 01101111 00101100 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01101100 01101001 01100010 01110101 01110100 00101110 00100000 01000011 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 01100110 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01000101 01110010 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101111 01101101 01101111 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110111 00111111 00001101 00001010 01001000 01100001 01110111 01101011 01100101 01110010 00100000 01000011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01110101 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 00110000 00110000 00110111 00100000 10010110 00100000 01000010 01100001 01101110 01100001 01101110 01100001 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00101110 00100000 01010000 01110010 01101001 01101110 01110100 01100101 01111001 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101001 01101110 01110100 01100101 01111001 00111111 00001101 00001010 01011010 01101001 01100111 01100111 01111001 00100000 10010110 00100000 01011001 01100101 01110011 00101110 00001101 00001010 01001000 01100001 01110111 01101011 01100101 01110010 00100000 01000011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01110101 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 00110000 00110000 00110111 00100000 10010110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101000 01100001 01101100 01101001 01100010 01110101 01110100 00101110 00001101 00001010 01011010 01101001 01100111 01100111 01111001 00100000 10010110 00100000 01010111 01101000 01111001 00100000 01101101 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100001 01101100 01110111 01100001 01111001 01110011 00100000 01100111 01100101 01110100 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101100 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00111111 00001101 00001010

But, to make it simpler, here it is in plain English.

Ziggy – Hi, it’s me again.
Hawker Computer 007 – What? Fish?
Ziggy – No, no halibut. Could you print this off for Erin tomorrow?
Hawker Computer 007 – Banana thing. Printey printey?
Ziggy – Yes.
Hawker Computer 007 – I print for halibut.
Ziggy – Why must I always get stuck with talking to you?

And so another terrifying dilemma was avoided – Erin would use the school printers to print off her 30 pages of English journals. And all the window cleaners threw their hats in the air with joy.

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Original ideas etc. are MINE, but unoriginal things are used for fun and not for profit and belong to various people.