STORIES

The Evils Of Hakki-Sack

Word count: 2579 | Completed:Yes, but with cliffhanger | Style: Serious but silly (somehow)s

“I was thinking,” Mara said, poking at the chuck-truck.
“We need to try a new sport, something really different to cube ball. Something we can all play.”
“Like what?” Leonella asked, grimacing at the chocolate and rhubarb milkshake Tycho had made for her.
“I don’t know. Any ideas, Pancha?”
They all sat around a table and lent forward to hear each other. The boys were singing a drinking song with amazing enthusiasm, waving their lemonades about quite alarmingly.
“Hmm. Leave it with me.” Pancha said thoughtfully, looking at her blue hamburger.

*********************************

“Where has it gone?” the Commander asked, peering about the bridge.
“What, sir?” asked Pancha, who was accessing old earth sport games files.
“My nature documentaries. I can’t find them anywhere.”
“Those old Attenborough ones?” Sheng asked, glad of the diversion. As much as he liked being on duty with Pancha, especially on the bridge, she could get rather absorbed in her various computer searches and corrections.
“Yes. I was in the mood to watch antelopes, but I can’t find them.”
The doors swooshed and Zandi walked in to see if Sheng was free for a computer game or two.
“What are you doing here, Commander? You’re meant to be off-duty.” She said, spotting the fretting Cyriax.
“He’s lost his antelopes,” Sheng said helpfully, dodging Cyriax as he agitatedly paced past.
“And my buffalo.” Cyriax added, peeking underneath Pancha’s chair.
“Hakki-Sack!” Proclaimed Pancha.
Deciding that the bridge was far too confusing a place to be, Zandi was certain it would be simpler to talk to Deegs.
“You don’t want to go in there.” Zandi said as she passed Tycho in the corridor.
“Why?” he asked innocently.
“They’ve all gone insane. Cyriax apparently can’t find his antelopes.” Said Zandi.
Tycho chuckled evilly.
“I know…” Tycho made to keep walking.
“What are you up to?” Zandi asked, catching the back of his overalls and pulling him short.


“You did what?” Deegs asked, rather confused.
“He’s hidden the commander’s Attenborough in a pod.” Zandi informed him, nudging the sulking Tycho.
“How was I supposed to know you were going to put them all away.” He grumbled.
“It’s my job! That’s how. Tycho…Why?” Deegs crossed his arms with frustration.
“I thought it would be funny…” Tycho muttered, looking rather distressed.
“The commander will be O.K without his antelopes, won’t he?”
“No, he won’t. He’ll join a glam rock band and die.” Deegs snapped, leaning weakly against the console.
“If he finds out I froze his documentary…” he whispered nervously.
“Right. You are going through each pod’s information until you find that Attenborough!” Zandi glowered, pushing Tycho towards the computer terminal.
“But that will take ages!” Tycho protested, looking to Deegs for help.
“Fine…I’ll help you. Zandi, you watch the corridor. If anyone comes, give us a yell. I don’t want to be found rifling through new settlers information…” Deegs decided.
“Why not?” Asked Zandi.
“Because last time I did I defrosted you, and look at all of the trouble that caused.” Deegs grinned and turned to make sure Tycho was doing the right thing. Sighing, Zandi went to watch the corridor.
“I hope this is the only prank you’re planning for a while.” Deegs scolded.
“Oh yes,” Tycho said, decidedly insincerely.


Later, in the girl’s dorm, Pancha was excitedly explaining the rules of hakki-sack to her fellow cadets.
“And if everyone touches it before it touches the ground, it’s a hack.” She said.
“You can’t use your hands? Sounds stupid.” Zandi decided and turned over to go to sleep. Pancha frowned.
“Well, I like it.” Leonella said, and was rewarded with a grin from Pancha.
“Well, that’s settled. Tomorrow we can tell the boys, and start a tournament!” said Mara, ever the organizer.

*********************************

Tane was strangely silent as the girls explained their idea the next day. Sheng and Deegenhardt were rather pleased, at least hakki-sack was better than dancing. Whilst Mara was explaining about what a hack was, and why the ball was called a sack, Tane slunk away.
“Where are you going?” Asked Cinnamon, suddenly appearing at his leg.
“I just don’t like that sport,” he muttered, hoping she’d go away.
“You look scared of something.” Cinnamon pointed out, obviously intent on finding out what.
“Look,” Tane said, kneeling in front of her.
“I’m scared of those horrible things.”
“Hakki-sacks?” Cinnamon asked. Tane winced.
“Yeah…I don’t know why. I just can’t stand them…I was hoping that when I left Earth I’d never have to see one again. Just don’t tell anyone, OK?”
Cinnamon nodded innocently and strolled back to the hakki-sacking group, leaving Tane to his private phobia.
“Whee!” Sheng laughed, bouncing the hakki-sack off his elbow.
“Are elbows allowed?” Deegs asked, the sack dropping just short of his kick.
“Aww, that was almost a sack!” Leonella protested.

*********************************

“Karen…” Tane burst into the Gym, interrupting Zandi’s weekly martial arts session with Karen. Ignoring the glares Zandi was directing at him, Tane pushed her aside and confronted Karen.
“Your little horror has put a…” he paused, face turning into a red grimace of hate
“…hakki- sack…” he spat, face going beetroot
“…IN MY BED.”
Karen stepped back, shocked at the sudden fury that was lashing out at her.
“Ground him. Shout at him. Do something or I’ll personally KILL HIM.”
“But it’s just a - ” Karen weakly attempted.
“He is getting out of control!” Tane lent forward, accentuating the fact that he was taller than Karen.
“It’s just a childish prank - ” she protested, off balance.
Eyes flashing dangerously, Tane turned abruptly and threw the ball neatly through the wallcube.
“Tycho needs to be stopped, punished. I don’t suppose I can rely on your weak parenting for an answer.” he glowered before pushing past Karen and storming out the door.

Karen paused for a moment, unsure whether to follow him. Cinnamon peeked timidly out from behind the exercise bikes, unseen but all-hearing as Karen stood staring at the ball that Tane had thrown, dispiritedly following its bouncing course with her eyes. Zandi uncomfortably laid a hand on her shoulder before quietly leaving. Only when the ball had rolled to a stop did Karen sniff, straighten her shoulders and shuffle from the room. Cinnamon thoughtfully emerged from her hiding place and made to follow. So deep in thought was she that she didn’t see the ball until she had almost tripped on it.
“Tane…” she grumbled and kicked the ball, hard. She turned to leave and didn’t see it fall neatly through the cube. Wishing that she hadn’t conspiratorially told Tycho Tane’s secret, Cinnamon decided it was time to tell someone everything that had happened. Lillian would listen.

*********************************

“I found it!” Deegs excitedly shouted.
“Yes!” Tycho enthused, glad that the search was finally over.
“Pod 189.” Deegs said, typing in the code to locate it.
“Phew, it’s near the bottom of the second tower. Shouldn’t take too long to get.”
“So you found the documentary?” Zandi asked as she walked into the room.
“Yep. Do you want to help us get it?” Tycho asked.
“Uh…No…I’m needed on the bridge.” Zandi said unconvincingly. She didn’t like putting on that bulky suit and being in the room with all of the new settlers. It made her feel too close to being back in that pod, which was unsettling.

*********************************

“And then Mara used her knees! It was brilliant!” Sheng enthused to anyone on the bridge who would listen.
“Yeah, it was amazing.” Pancha agreed.
“Excuse me,” Cyriax pushed past Sheng to look under the pilot chair.
“Antelopes. Buffalo. I’d even settle for a vole right now.” He said despairingly.
“I’m sure it will turn up.” Lillian consoled him, patting his arm kindly.
“Yes. Shift change in two minutes. Must find it.” Cyriax abruptly changed direction and almost knocked Sheng over.
“You’re not on duty. If you wouldn’t mind…”
“Oh,” Sheng took the hint and realized that he was cluttering the bridge. He passed Karen as he left.
“Hi!” he said cheerfully, but she didn’t answer. She slunk to her navigation console, stepping over Cyriax, who was lying on his stomach under it to get a better documentary-hunting view.
“Karen, are you alright?” Lillian asked, leaning over the musing navigator’s shoulder.
“Mm? Oh…I’m fine.” Karen started.
“Can I have a word at the end of this shift?”
“Yes, yes, good.” Karen answered absently, trying to remember the tangent she had been plotting. After a moment she realized what she had been asked.
“As a friend or ship’s councilor?” she enquired, turning from her calculations.
“Either. Which would you prefer?” Lillian smiled.
“Where could it be!?” Cyriax sobbed, slumping against the wall. With a sigh Lillian took his arm and escorted him to the door.
“What you need is a nice relaxing time in the D room. Do some fishing.”
“Attenborough likes fish.” Cyriax said wistfully.
“And whales. And sharks.” He slowly made his way down the corridor.
“And seals.”

*********************************

After much huffing and puffing, Tycho and Deegs had the pod ready to defrost. Carefully they monitored the temperature as it rose, it would be disastrous if there was a fault and the commander’s beloved documentary was wrecked forever. After a few nail-biting minutes, they opened the white pod and tentatively retrieved the precious object.
“I’ll give this back right now. Bye!” Tycho scuttled away before Deegs could ask for help in getting the pod back. Sighing, he sealed it up and began preparations for putting it back. He was getting very tired, all of this pod moving was terribly exhausting.

Tycho was alarmed to see Cyriax wandering into the same turbolift he was going to use. It was too late to change direction without being suspicious, so Tycho hastily shoved the documentary up his shirt and hoped the Commander didn’t notice.
“Attenborough narrated tubeworms too,” Cyriax sadly told Tycho as they went up one level. Thankfully Tycho was able to disembark and scuttle away before the commander noticed his shirt load of Attenborough. Cyriax got out of the lift and continued his helpless searching.
“And plankton. Why can’t I learn about plankton?” Cyriax asked Karen as they passed each other in the corridor. Obviously the documentary loss was taking its toll on their commander.
“Hello?” Karen popped her head through the sickbay door.
“I was wondering if you’d remembered” Lillian commented, showing her to a chair. After they were both seated, an awkward silence filled the room.
“What?” Karen uncomfortably asked. Lillian raised an eyebrow and lent back.
“Something has been bothering you. I assume it’s related to this hacki-sack business.” Karen shifted in her chair and sighed.
“It’s Tane…Well, sort of…”
“Take your time.” Lillian said kindly, offering Karen a jelly baby from the bowl on her desk.

*********************************

“Steve?” Lillian said, finally spotting him. Trying to avoid the grimy service tunnel walls, Lillian picked her way towards his crouched form, or at least his splayed legs. That’s all that was visible, the rest of him was completely obscured inside the inspection hatch.
“Yesh?” he replied with difficulty because he had a spanner in his mouth.
“Can I have a word?”
Just then there was a Pop! and a flash of light. Sighing, the now singed Steve shuffled back into the tunnel. Spitting out the spanner with an impressive “Pteww!” he scrubbed at his eyes with the back of his grubby hand.
“Is this a bad time?” Lillian wondered, regarding the mucky engineer.
“Nope,” he said almost cheerfully.
“I’d be glad of a break. There’s only so many small scale explosions in a short amount of time I can stand.”
“Karen’s been having some problems with Tane. Has she talked to you about it?”
“No, she hasn’t. What’s happened?” he asked, puzzled.
“He’s been hassling her about keeping Tycho under control. She didn’t want to make a fuss, it took half a packet of jelly babies before she told me about it, but Tane has really got to her.”
Steve’s expression had become even darker than his filthy uniform. Without another work he rose to his feet and stomped towards the boy’s dorm.
“She didn’t want a scene!” Lillian called to his retreating back.

“Tane!” Steve hollered, bashing on the boy’s dorm door. It soon swooshed open to reveal a befuddled Deegenhardt, whose hair was so tousled it almost defied gravity.
“He’s at the stardeck.” Deegs muttered, mind well and truly asleep. Steve absently patted him on the head and said “You should be sleeping.”
Deegs opened his mouth to protest that he just was, but Steve had already stalked away.
“What was all of that about?” Sheng asked from underneath a blanket.
“Steve. Shouting. Tane. Things.” Deegs slurred, frowning in the mirror at the grease Steve had left in his hair.
“Mmm. More shouting later.” Sheng predicted and fell back into his dreams of pink Panchas.

Mara was a little more than surprised to find that, instead of the serenely empty Stardeck she was expecting, she was confronted with lots of shouting. A very grubby Steve was pointing at a livid Tane with a spanner, jugular popping out most alarmingly. Mara turned to go find somewhere else that was quieter and almost bumped into Pancha.
“Ready for our tournament?” Pancha asked, holding up her hakki-sack. There was a shriek from the Stardeck. Pancha and Mara both turned to see Steve shouting at a pile of quakeing cushions, most probably inhabited by Tane.
“Getitaway getitaway getitaway getitaway…” Said the cushions. Whilst Pancha bemusedly worked out that she should hide the hakki-sack, Mara was contacting the Commander.
“Right. Breifing. Now.” She said to the assembled shouters/quakers/hakki-sack holders.

*********************************

The crew assembled nervously in front of the mildly distracted Cyriax.
“I have finally been informed about this whole hakki-sack business.” He said, ignoring Tane’s flinch at the oh-so-scary hakki-word.
“Cinnamon, you should’t be such a tattle-tail. Sea urchins.” He frowned.
“No. Not sea urchins. They’re from a documentary. You are not. Bad Cinnamon.” Cinnamon was to buisy being confused to be upset at her chastisement. Cyriax was indeed in a bad way.
“Tane,” the commander had moved on.
“I understand your fears, and annoyance, but insulting poor Karen won’t marine predator anything. Understand?”
“Yes sir,” Said Tane, who wasn’t quite sure about the marine predator part, but basically comprehended the commander’s meaning.
“Steve,” Cyriax said sternly.
“You really need a bath. You’re covered in muck. Marine iguana.” Steve was about to protest, but Karen tapped him on the shoulder and pointed at the greasy footprints he had left. Defeated, Steve wondered if they had any Marine iguana left.”
“And Tycho,” Cyriax bent down to Tycho’s level.
“…What is that in your shirt?”
With a panicking yelp, Tycho jumped clear into the air.
“Uh…Nothing?” he asked hopefully. But he had been discovered. Making a noise alarmingly like the death-cry of a seaside albatross, Cyriax hoisted Tycho into the air by his ankles and shook him until the documentary fell out of his clothes. Dropping Tycho and neatly catching the documentary, Cyriax whimpered slightly and ran from the room to find a vidiplayer.

After half an hour it was clear that he wasn’t coming back until he’d watched the whole four hour David Attenborough narrated documentary, the crew decided that the briefing was over and were about to disperse when…


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